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It starts with a question that cuts deeper than most: “What do I deserve?”
L. Michelle Smith doesn’t ask it lightly. In this layered and practical conversation, guided by WUSA9’s Allison Seymour, Smith invites viewers to reconsider how happiness, career growth and self-worth are connected. She makes it clear that happiness is a skill to build. As she puts it, "Happiness is something we have to work at. And the first step in that work is asking whether we believe we’re even entitled to it in the first place."
For anyone facing a layoff, a stalled career or a sense of burnout, this conversation delivered a blueprint: understand your value, organize your life around what truly matters and build habits that support emotional resilience.
Seymour keeps the dialogue focused and grounded in real-life stakes. When she asks how women — especially women of color — can overcome social conditioning that tells them not to ask for too much, Smith answers with clarity: "Self-care is not selfish. If your cup is empty, you don’t have much to give."
From there, the conversation builds. Smith shares her concept of "happiness triggers": values that spark positive emotion. For her, it’s faith, family and freedom. When she’s overwhelmed, a single photo of her daughter can activate joy, pride and love — three powerful emotions that counteract the brain’s natural negativity bias. She explains that neuroscience shows "it takes three positive emotions to counteract one negative one."
Seymour then asks what to do when someone feels stuck — either in grief, job loss or just uncertainty. Smith offers her "Name-Tame-Reframe" method: name the emotion, tame it by acknowledging it and reframe it with a more helpful perspective. Naming emotions, she says, builds emotional literacy and helps move through pain. "It may seem simple, but the act of putting language to a feeling can be transformative."
The conversation shifts as Seymour brings up career pivots and burnout, prompting Smith to share practical tools for rethinking professional direction. Smith urges people to reframe their skills, focusing less on specific roles or industries and more on the core strengths they bring — like communication, leadership or problem-solving. These can apply to many types of work. It's a way to see broader opportunities and stay adaptable when paths change. People often tell her she changed careers when she left corporate communications. But she disagrees — "I’m still a communicator. I just evolved how I use that skill."
She encourages people to use a "backward planning" strategy: picture your ideal day, then build your career around the life you want to live — not the other way around. "Dreaming enables goal setting. And goals, in turn, rely on hope — the mindset that opens the brain to possibility." Hope activates your brain's ability to plan.
Smith also introduces the 4Ds: delay, delegate, delete and do — a time management method that helps people reclaim their bandwidth. Many of her clients, she notes, gain back 20% of their week by applying this tool. That time should be protected. "Schedule white space. Just sit. That’s where creativity and clarity emerge." Smith emphasizes stillness as a strategy.
Throughout the hour, Seymour brings the audience into the conversation. She asks what federal workers should do if they’ve just been laid off. She wonders aloud how people can transition industries when they don’t even know what else they’d be good at.
Smith’s response is steady: build a support system. What she calls your "kitchen cabinet" — a network of mentors, sponsors and peers who advocate for you, guide you and help you see your own potential more clearly. "Build relationships, not just resumes. Know the business. Speak its language. Solve a real problem."
From redefining success to reclaiming time, from emotional regulation to practical reinvention, Smith shares one central message: you don’t have to wait for permission.
"You’ve got to do the work. But more than anything — you’ve got to believe you’re worthy."
The insights are clear: happiness is not passive. It’s something you practice.
And you start by asking the question: What do I deserve?
To view the conversation, click below.
Want more? Yes, Please: 7 Ways to Say I’m Entitled to the C-Suite is available for free with your DC Public Library card through the Libby app.
About the Relationships Matter Series
Hosted by WUSA9’s Allison Seymour, the Relationships Matter series explores the many dimensions of connection — career, family, love, finances and self-worth. Through dynamic conversations with authors, therapists and coaches, each session offers practical strategies to help you build the life you want. Brought to you by DC Public Library, WUSA9 and the DC Public Library Foundation.