Absurd Christmas Reads

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Absurd Christmas Reads

...because what's more absurd than the holidays?

I love Christmas. Last year I made a Christmas list (pun intended) called Scary Christmas to All which covered holiday ghosts, murder and, um, werewolves. I decided to do another reading list this year, but to focus on the funny and/or absurd side of the holidays instead. Family can be stressful. Escape, and come with me to the dark side.

The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror by Christopher Moore
A child witnesses the death of a man dressed in a Santa suit. Obviously the child is slightly distressed. Now that Santa is dead, who will bring gifts? When the titular angel is sent to answer this child's prayers, the boy wishes Santa would come back to life. The angel predictably bungles things, and now we have Christmas zombies.

Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris
This one will be familiar to many, or the story SantaLand Diaries will be, because David Sedaris read it on NPR for his first big break. It is his account of a holiday season spent working as a helper elf to a Macy's Santa. It's full of hilarity and despair. There are a few other entertaining holiday stories in the collection as well. I recommend the audiobook; Sedaris reads it himself and is a fantastic performer.
Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Yuletide Yahoos, Ho-Ho-Humblebraggers, and Other Seasonal Scourges by Jen Mann
I mean, don't we all know someone...
In this collection of essays, Mann focuses on overly enthusiastic carolers and people who just do too much with their Elf on the Shelf, among others. While mostly Christmas-oriented, the collection also touches on Halloween, Thanksgiving and Easter.

The Truth About Santa: Wormholes, Robots, and What Really Happens on Christmas Eve by Gregory Mone
Just exactly how does Santa visit every child in the world in one night? Clones. Clones and wormholes. Santa also has listening devices implanted in your Christmas ornaments to better track who is naughty and who is nice. The author works to prove that with the right technology, Santa can be real.